School Pictures FAIL

Ethan had just climbed up into his bed and I was finishing Logan's bedtime songs when a warning sailed down from the top bunk.

"Uh-oh, Dad."

"What is it?  What's the matter?" I asked.

"I forgot my sweater," he answered.

"When?" came my slightly exasperated reply. 

Despite being a champion player, Guess What/Where/When? is not my favorite game.

"At pictures today."

Oh no.

"You mean you didn't wear your sweater for your school picture?" I asked, hoping that I had fallen asleep on the floor and hadn't yet realized it.

"No," he said.

"What did you wear?" I asked.

"What was underneath it," he said, quietly.

Sigh.  As if I really had to ask...

"What was underneath it?"

"My undershirt."

"Do you mean to tell me that you had your school pictures taken in your underwear?!"

"Uh huh."

This is bad.  This is very bad.  But also kind of funny.  What my wife and I cannot seem to figure out is how he forgot about his sweater when he took it off during PE.  He forgot about his sweater after PE, while it was clutched in his hand on the way back to class.  He forgot about his sweater when they called his class for their pictures...and when they called his name...and when he sat on the stool...and when they said "smile".  Instead, he hopped into bed at 8:30 that night and that's when he remembered his sweater.

"Well, who's gonna tell Mom?" I asked.

1, 2, 3, Not it!

"You can," he said, very politely. 

An air of finality accompanied this statement as if to say, "it's been lovely chatting with you...you're dismissed."

Right.  Okay.  I've lived a good life.

"Hey, Ashley!"

I relayed the information from the opposite couch as we sat together in the living room.  Ashley had just returned from kissing the boys good night.  Somehow I felt that the timing was better as opposed to breaking the news first and then sending her off to kiss them farewell.  It's a shame, really, to spoil the first peaceful night in a long time with news such as this.  To my surprise (and alarm) she didn't say anything.  After her face did a chameleonesque color change she said, very calmly,

"You know, I was just looking at his baby picture on our dresser.  Remember how cute and chubby and happy he was?  And now all I can think about is how I'm going to have to kill him."

- 7 November 2011