I Really Like Magic

It is extremely difficult for anyone without ADHD to understand what it is like to live with this disorder.  Indeed, it is often difficult for those of us who do to understand either, let alone provide a decent explanation.

My best accounting comes in the form of two analogies:

The ADHD Mind

The subconscious mind is always in and never out.  Information flows in and is retained forever.  To the sans ADHD individual, the mind is like a neatly organized dresser or closet.  Everything is carefully folded and put away.  A place for everything and everything in it's place.  The ADHD mind, on the other hand, is like a clothes dryer.  It's all there, of course, forever tumbling and spinning - sometimes damp, sometimes dry but always wrinkled.  Once in a while you must open the door to retrieve something, only to find that the safety mechanism is broken and the dryer will not stop running.  Unfortunately, you have to find what you're looking for anyway.  Usually, something else comes flying out instead.  I think this quote from Jomadado sums it up nicely.

"I don't lack the ability to focus.  I have the super mind powers to focus on tons of things all at the same time.  So take that, boring normal brain people."

I myself  have tried all of the medications at one point or another.  Some of them simply prevent the dryer from running altogether while others short out the electronics, causing the drum to rotate twice as fast and/or use twice as much heat.  A few will even fix the safety mechanism and allow you to complete your laundry.  In any event, they are all temporary measures.

The other key component to ADHD survival is leaning how your mind functions with ADHD both medicated and un-medicated.  Again, I refer to my analogy.  I have read the instruction manual a hundred times.  Most of the time I am absorbing the words and their meaning.  A great deal of the learning process, however, still boils down to trial and error - button pushing.  What happens when I turn this dial or push this button?  Sometimes the clothes are still wet.  Sometimes they shrink.  What does Permanent Press really mean and what happens when the clothes fit into more than one drying cycle category?  The machine won't let me select more than one cycle at once!  Now what?

I have called the repair technicians (doctors) on numerous occasions.  They have taught me how to jerry-rig a switch but there is really only so much they can do to help as they each own a major appliance but none owns a dryer specifically.

Coping With the ADHD Mind

In the end, it comes down to learning how to bake cookies.  I have all of the ingredients and a really terrific recipe (my brain and an understanding of how it works).  I have learned how to carefully mix and measure, but in the end, I will need an oven (meds).  None of these things will work independently.  Without the oven, I will just make myself sick eating raw cookie dough.  Without the ingredients, I am just wasting electricity.  Without the recipe...well, yuck.

Now imagine trying to help your children bake their own cookies.  Each one of them is using different ingredients, a different recipe (written in a language that they do not speak) and a completely different oven.  It is an awesome challenge.

That is why I find sayings about ADHD so amusing.  They are, at once, both side-splittingly humorous and completely true.  I know!  Yesterday, while at work, a friend of mine sent me an email containing one such saying.  As I did a little digging to find the source, I ran across two others.  All three have become favorites of mine and each one of which perfectly and accurately describes either me or my sons.

• Attention deficit disorder should be called attention-to-lots-and-lots-and-lots-of-things-and-some-other-stuff-except-the-one-thing-I-really-should-be-paying-attention-to disorder.
• Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat.  A dog.  I have a bike.  Do you like TV?  I saw a rock.  Hi.

And my all-time favorite.

• My ADD makes it hard for me to focus and focus sounds like hocus pocus and I really like magic a whole lot.  Abracadabra.

And so, my friends...
It's cereal time.  What smells like mustard?  The grass it tall.  Bye.

- 27 January 2012

Quotes by jomadado.  Follow this link to visit jomadado on Twitter.