The Green Mist

As we stood outside the door of the only toilet at the Kalaloch Ranger Station, waiting for Ethan to emerge, Ashley began fretting over people gathering to use the bathroom.  Suddenly, Justin piped up.

"They're watching, wildly wondering what that green mist is coming from underneath the door."

I am reasonably certain that one or more of us guffawed.  Thank you, Justin.  Very helpful.

- 20 July 2009

Fight Night

"Dad, I like it when the boys fight," Logan said.

Okay, weird but I'll bite.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because they call each other names."

More likely, it's because they're too busy to call you names.

- 19 October 2014

I Don't Like This Game

"Oh my!  That's a fat poo.  Do you think it will fit down there?"

If I give you an answer, any answer, will you promise to stop talking about it?

- 27 October 2014

Sad, Sad Day

I just had to reference (and by reference I mean describe in detail) a Spongebob episode in order to get my six-year-old to understand what a trombone was.  I'm still not sure which was more upsetting - having to use Spongebob as a point of reference or the fact that I was more familiar with the episode in question than my Kindergartner.

- 16 October 2014

Get Your Scary Story Straight

"Dad, can I borrow your phone to watch a video about a new horror game?" Logan asked me.

"Absolutely not!" I said.

"But Dad, it's not a horror game," he pleaded.

"You just got through telling me it was, in your own words," I replied.

"Please, Dad, it's just a scary game," he begged.

"Then the answer is still no," I said, with a note of irritated defiance.

"But it's not scary," he objected.

Ugh.

- 6 October 2014

Coiffure

While I was standing at the washing machine, Logan appeared at my elbow wearing an adult-sized Spongebob Halloween costume and a stunned expression.  I turned around to face him.

"I'm not going to say a word about that haircut," he said, in a monotone voice.

Evidently, he had gotten a glimpse of his mother's new, shorter, hairdo.

"I know, it's great, isn't it?" I said.

"It reminds me of Regan from My Friends' House," he replied.

"Is that good or bad?" I asked.

"Bad.  I'm scared of it.  I'm hiding," he said, and he ran off to take cover.

- 11 October 2014

Sidewalk Chalk

"That's great, Logan, what is it?" I asked.

"I don't know."

- 6 October 2014

Weaknesses II

"The [bath] water is my only weakness," Logan said, as the tub filled and he scrambled backward away from the approaching swell.

"I thought that tickling was your only weakness," I said.

"Yes, the Tickle Monster is my only weakness too."

"Too?" I asked.

"And salad," he said.

- 6 October 2014