How Do You Feel About That?

"You and Mom are too old to be texting," Logan said.

Say that again, I wasn't listening, I was busy with my phone. 

"You know Mom's so old, she still has to talk on her phone," he continued.

I would have offered a retort but I needed to send another text.

- 11 December 2015

Don't Regale Us

Ethan had just said something inappropriate for the nineteenth time today.  He thought it was funny.  He was the only one.  We sent him downstairs to be with his older brother, someone who would surely find his brand of humor amusing, so we didn't have to listen to him any more.

"Whoever that Ethan kid is, he sounds hilarious," he said loudly to no one, as he descended the stairs.

- 29 November 2015

Plans

"When I rule the world I will destroy the earth!" Logan declared. 

"Then where are you going to live, you ding-dong," I cut in. 

"Oh, yeah."

Back to the drawing board.

- 2 December 2015

Stunned Silence

I arrived at school, as requested, parked out front and dialed Ethan's number.

"Hello?"  He fumbled with the phone.

"Hi, I'm here," I said.

"Okay, hold on one sec, I'm peeing," his voice echoing slightly as it crossed the fully tiled room.

I was without words, so I hung up.

- 30 November 2015

Augmentation

Ethan and Logan were arguing about whose allowance was bigger.  Logan was certain that, if his brother was earning ten dollars, his would be at least that much.

"How much do I get a Friday?" he asked me.

"Two dollars," I said.

"Aww.  Is there a way I can plusen that?"

Snicker.

You can start by never saying that "word" again.

- 29 November 2015

The Standard Plan

Logan came and found me, armed with a plan.  Since we were in Sunriver and on vacation, it only seemed natural that we suspend the standard Otter Pop rule of two per day and make it three.

"Can you ask Mom?" Logan begged.

"Why, are you afraid of what she'll say?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, honestly.

"I'll tell her the new plan," I nodded reassuringly.

"When she gets back just ask her and then come tell me.  I'll be somewhere," he shrugged.

"You know I can make these kinds of decisions [on my own]," I said, slightly offended.

"Oh!" he said, with great surprise.

- 4 August 2015