Suddenly There Came an Epiphany?

My youngest son, Logan, came home early yesterday after a fit of vomiting.  Consequently, he was unable to go to swimming lessons that evening.  There was a great deal of crying and carrying on at the idea of having to forgo his beloved swimming lesson but eventually he settled down.  With eyes full of tears he looked up at me and asked,

"Cam we go to swimming wessons on sex day?"

Ohhhhh boy.  My brain cramped as a thousand thoughts crowded to the front vying for position.  The winner?

"What?!" 

Well played, Andy...pure genius.  Let us dispense with the cumbersome questions and get right to the heart of the matter with this crack investigative strain.

"Cam we go to swimming wessons on sex day?" he repeated.
"Sex day?" I asked again.
"Um, yeah," he said.

Hmmm.  More brain cramping. 

Logan stood there staring at me patiently.  Meanwhile, my remaining thoughts began to riot and the conversation in my head deteriorated rapidly.  What could he mean?  Where is he learning this stuff?  What does he know?  What else does he know?  Are we getting our money's worth or should we be asking for a refund?  This is Tuesday...do you suppose he is talking about Wednesday?  And that's when Bevis and Butthead arrived. 

Heh, heh, he said 'sex day'...hump day...Wednesday...get it? 

I am not proud.

Suddenly there came an epiphany.

"Do you mean six day?" I asked hopefully.
"Yeah!" he nodded.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing happened so I closed it again.  All at once I realized I had no idea what that meant either.  Pickle, pickle...it's like being involved in a real life three-year-old version of Choose Your Own Adventure.  The wrong response could land you on page 29 where you are murdered by a 50-foot slug or a man-eating toilet seat.  I am a college educated man who is rarely at a loss for words and I was not about to be undone by a preschooler. 

"Yes, we'll go on six day," I decided. 

That's right, watch the master at work.

"Okay," he said as he turned on his heal and hurried out of the room.

Sigh.  Now to find an aspirin and a Logan-to-English dictionary.  Didn't one of my other sons mention that he knew how to speak Human?

- 4 October 2011