Fat Genie I ~ Chapter 1-3

FAT GEINIE BY ETHAN

Chapter 1

One day in Egypt there was a little boy named Billy Jonson Steven Fligflac Shmidy Weben Yeger Mangenson the third but people just called him Bob. He was walking when he saw a lamp “oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo”said bob. “That’s one pretty lamp. How much is it?” “1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. As the dealer was distracted bob grabbed the lamp and ran “, 000,000,000,000,000 cash no check. Hey where did he go?” The lamp was heavy so he could not run very fast. “What is in this thing?” he wondered as he speed walked. When he got home he put the lamp on his bed “maybe it’s like in the stories.”  He said so he rubbed it three times. Out popped a very fat geinie.

Chapter 2

“Who are you?” said bob “why I’m

”It said “wow your fat.” Said bob “do you give me 3 wishes?” asked bob “sure I guess” “first I wish for a floating head.”

“Hi Im the floating head you wished foaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa WHAT IS THAT?!!!!!!” he said looking at fat geinie. “Oh him he’s fat geinie and ill name you Justin.” Said bob. All of a sudden royalgards came out of nowhere and at the front was Johnny Jonson Steven Fliglflac Shmidy Werben Yeger Mangenson the second AKA John bobs brother.

Chapter 3

“Hi little brother.” Said John. “Time to die!” He said. “Fat geinie, befor we die I wish for infanent wishes.” said bob. “Ok.” Said fat geinie. “Good now I wish we were gone.” Said bob. “Your wish is my command.”

“Hey there gone.” Said one of the guards

Some were else…..

The evil wizard who created fat geinie lamp and imprisoned him there was worried so he looked in his magic caldron. “Oh-no the prophecy is almost upon us!” He said. “Bawck, what prophecy?” Asked his parrot. “The one where a child named bob would destroy me and fall in love with the princes with the help of no other than fat geinie.” “But I will not let that happen, oh no I will summon some people with the most evilest souls so I summon thy!” All of a sudden a group of people came out of know where. “How did we….”said one of them. “People will you help me kill a child/worrier named bob and in return you get power!” he said. “ bob?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!? That’s my” said john.

Evil people evilizo summand: smart villan, john, skinny guy, skinny geinie (fat geinie’s brother), focho and gocho, devil monkey, fat rat. 

I Feel Pretty

"Grandma, were you pretty before you became a grandma?" Logan asked.

There was a chuckle.

"Don't you think I'm pretty now?" she asked.

Logan stammered, gave up and started humming.

- 28 July 2013

Identity Crisis

As we drove up to the lake on New Year's Day, we passed through a small town called Joseph.  Through the chatter in the car I heard a small voice behind me - it was Logan.

"Um, where's Mary..."

Mary.  Mary?

"...and Jesus?"

Oh, Mary.  Got it!  I'm with you now.

- 1 January 2014

Christmas Eve Communion

As the congregation prepared for communion, my wife turned to my oldest son.

"You remember what to say when you get up there, right?"

"Uh, no," came his reply.

"Okay, they say, 'Body of Christ,' and you say..." she urged.

"Cool beans!"

Oh, that was so close but I'm sorry, that was incorrect.  We were looking for, "Amen."  I had to bite my tongue.  Talk about having the church giggles.

- 24 December 2013