Rainin'

While going tinkle by the road side after an emergency stop, Justin noticed an ant.

"Ohh, that bug over there is gonna think it's rainin'!"

- 19 June 2005

The Middle Child

"Mom and Dad, we should adopt a girl.  You know, a little baby," Ethan announced, in the car.

Alright, I'm game.

"Why?" I asked.

His reply was very matter-of-fact.

"Because I'm sick of the other two."

- 10 April 2014

Common Ground

No better way to break the ice and make friends on the playground than to strike up a conversation on the swing set.

"Hey kid, do you kill ants?

- 18 June 2004

Dying

Some day my children will ask me why we have no pictures of Easter egg dyeing from 2013.

Six words: three-boys-grandma's-kitchen-permanent-color.

That's why.

Oh! Two more: panic-attack!!

- by Ashley, 30 March 2013

Real World Problems

My two-year-old, Justin's entire world came crashing down around his ears as he stood at the front window, watching and waiting for the garbage truck to come along.  As he watched, he became completely devastated when the garbage man only collected the garbage on the opposite side of the street.

Is there no justice?!

- 25 August 2003

PTTD - Post Traumatic Traveling Disorder

Travel questions.

Every night while I was away, I would call home to talk to my family and say goodnight to the boys before bed.

And every night, Logan and I would have the same conversation.

"Where are you?" he would ask.

"Las Vegas."

"How did you get to Las Vegas?"

"On an airplane."

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"In my hotel."

"Is your hotel in Las Vegas?"

"Yes."

Oh, criminy!  Then he goes on to tell me all about the times he was in Las Vegas.  You know, Nada the 27th of Never.

- 8 February 2012

Growing Up

After telling a passer by that he's a big boy, my three-year-old lowered and shook his head.

"I keep getting used to that," he said.

- 28 August 2006

Round 'n Round

I made the mistake of interrupting a nonsense game called "round 'n round" in which Justin sings nonsense words and dances around in a circle.

He frowned at me and said, "Daddy, this is a famous song."

Ah, sorry.

- 19 January 2004

Brotherly Love

Justin, talking about his younger brother climbing into bed with him each night.

"It's okay if he's in my bed.  He's always my brother."

- 29 July 2006

No Shirt, No Pants, No Service

I can't believe that I've had to use the phrase, "this is a schmeckle-free zone" two evenings running.  Especially at the dining room table.

- 8 October 2011

Moustache

Over the summer the boys' PE teacher grew a mustache.  Once school started in the fall, and the mustache was gone, it quickly became the source of a great deal of discussion at our house.

"I wonder what happened to Mr. Parsons' mustache...maybe he took it off and put it on his bedside table...now that's a good story, isn't it?"

- 14 October 2008

Wrong

Ethan was mad.  I tried to help quell his anger.

"Next time your cousin comes around, why don't you show her what to do?  She can help you [play]," I said.

"She already knows how to do it...WRONG!"

- 22 June 2008

Highway to Heaven

"Logan, how do you get to heaven?"

"The highway."

Because anything that is not clearly in Walla Walla must involve the highway.

- 20 October 2011

Call Me

Driving to Home Depot...3 blocks from home...and here comes the standard telephone call from the boys at home.

"Dad?  Can you call me when you're on your way home?"

No, but your mother and I would be happy to sneak in the back door, down the stairs and burst into the family room to catch you playing video games when you're not supposed to be.  Oh, and scare the pants off you.  I'll bring a rag and some Spot Shot in case you wet yourself.

This is not the first time I have received this telephone request.

- 3 June 2013

Girl Parade

"Hey, Justin," Ashey said, pointing out a car passing our position along the parade route.  "Pretty girls."

"Seen 'em" he said, matter-of-factly rolling his eyes.

Ashley and I also exchanged looks and rolled our eyes.

"I was in a house full of 'em," he added.

That's right.  Thank you Kappa Kappa Gamma.

- 4 July 2012

Text-Rated

"Why did I just have to 'yell' at my boys for using their grandmother's phone to send me text messages containing naughty words?"

-14 December 2012

Thanksgiving

So much to be thankful for.  The iPad...the games...the opportunity to bond...the brotherly love and cooperation...the fact that the emergency room is less than a mile away when he slips off that chair and hits his head against the table.



- 28 November 2013

The Finer Things

When I was a kid I was taught that it was impolite to thank people for giving you money when you received it as a gift.  Instead, you should thank them and then describe your suspected intentions.

Dear Grandma,
Thank you for the kind gift.  I plan to buy comic books and bubble gum and baseball cards...

Here is what my 10-year-old plans.

- 6 May 2013

Potato, Potato

"Dad, today in music we did something different than we normally do."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, we went to sing in the cemetery."

That is different.

"Outside?" I asked.

"No. The ce-me-tery," he said, very deliberately.

Good Lord, you mean they've moved it inside?

"Is it possible you mean the sanctuary?"

"Oh, yes."

- 13 November 2013