Easter Homework

Having just tucked the boys into bed, I was busy explaining why it was lights out, amid vigorous protests.

"Dad, do I have something important to do [tomorrow]?" Logan asked.

Did I not just finish explaining that we are going to mass early in the morning?

"You have to go to church with the rest of the family," I explained patiently.

"Wait, I though you said we were going to mass," he said.

"Yes, mass is church," I replied.

"You mean Ethan goes to church every time he does his mass?" Logan asked, thoroughly perplexed.

What?!

"No sweetheart, Ethan does not go to church to do his math homework."

Good grief.

- 19 April 2014

Señorita

Which is weirder: my son in a dress or the fact that "she" was speaking fluent Spanish?

Hmmm...

- 13 March 2014

Neatly Manicured Lawns

If only I had taken a picture...

Justin was asked to mow the lawn this morning and, much to my surprise, there was no argument.  I thought it was too good to be true but I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and went back to my yard work.  Soon I heard the lawn mower roar to life only to hear it stop again almost immediately.  This cycle repeated itself a second time causing me to become suspicious.  Finally, the lawn mower started for a third time and continued to run.

A short time later, as I went about my work, it slowly dawned on me that the sound of the lawn mower could no longer be heard.  When I turned around to see what the problem was, I discovered Justin and the mower were MIA.  What I found instead was a neatly carved smiley face in the grass.

I suppose I should be grateful that it was only a smiley face.

- 25 May 2014

Window to the World

There he was, standing stark naked in front of the glass storm door, showing off his "goods" to the entire neighborhood.  Suddenly, he turned to my wife and shouted, in a semi-accusatory voice,

"Don't look at me!"

Yeah, it's her you should be worried about alright.

- 13 May 2014

The Singing Nazi

I had just returned from Jack In The Box and, for reasons still unclear to me, my wife suddenly appeared in the kitchen and broke into operatic song.  Apparently, this was much to the chagrin of my five-year-old.

"Oh, don't even start!" he shouted.

- 10 May 2014

How Many, How Much?

How many boys will I have to have before I remember to put a diaper on them immediately after removing them from the tub?

Thank goodness for Spot Shot.

- 3 March 2011

Punch Card

I am suddenly reminded why we have a punch card for the ER.

After joining me at the piano to "help me" play (causing Beethoven to roll over in his grave), Logan went to the bathroom...missed the potty and peed on the rug.  As soon as I had cleaned him up and put the rugs in the washer, I came back to find him plugging his head phones into the wall outlet.

- 22 August 2011

Oddly Specific

Justin and his friend, Winston, have been living at each other's houses for the past two to three days.  Winston, was currently at our house and had been invited to stay for dinner.  When he appeared at the top of the stairs with the phone to his ear, asking what time dinner was being served, my wife and I looked at each other and she replied, "five-thirty, six?"

"Um, Mom?" he said.  "Dinner is at 5:36."

- 17 August 2012

Welcome to My World

My two oldest boys are chasing each other around the house seeing who can dish out the biggest wedgie.  At one point they tried to give me a wedgie only to find out that I not only know what wedgies are but I can dish them out too.

- 23 February 2011

Spotting the Problem

No wonder there are spots on the carpet downstairs and sticky patches throughout the kitchen.  I just watched as my 11-year-old son mopped up the apple juice he spilled on the floor with the sock that was still on his foot.

- 8 May 2014