The Reptile Man

This is why my wife refused to attend the reptile program last night.

She's terrified of little boys.

- 28 May 2015

Just Sayin'

Having just been brutally harassed by his brother Justin, Logan came running into the bedroom where he found his mother lying on the bed.

"Justin is a - crotch!" he exclaimed, with all the bile and unpleasantness a Kindergartner could muster.

"Logan!" Ashley replied.

"Just sayin'," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

Yeah, well, just don't say it or the next thing you know one of your teachers will be calling.

- 13 May 2015

Relax

What he said.

"You need to take me to the park so you can relax."

What I heard.

"You need to take me to the park where you'll be stressed out trying to keep an eye on me while I play with 100 other kids on two sets of play equipment while you worry about whether or not I've been kidnapped or wandered off with strangers."

Great.  Sign me up.

- 26 April 2015

A Princess Riding a Unicorn Over a Rainbow to a Castle with a King and a Dragon

"Dad, come sit at the table and draw with me," Logan said.

"Oh, I'm not very good at drawing.  Maybe I'll just sit and watch you," I suggested.

"But I need your help," he pleaded.  "You're the one with the brain."

- 5 May 2015

Whew

"Dad, I know where babies come from," Logan announced.

Oh dear.  I looked up.  Can't you just enjoy being six?

"Oh, you do, huh?" I asked, skeptically.

"Yeah, your privates," he said.

He pointed to his butt.

I shook my head and raised my eyebrows.

He pointed to his crotch.

I nodded.

He giggled.

"Oh, your vagina," he said, as though the entire world made sense to him now.

Well, not yours or mine, but yes.

After that, he was thoroughly grossed out.

- 30 April 2015