Pretty

If you feel like you need some real insight into what it's like to raise a house full of boys, read this post that my wife sent me this morning.  I'd be appalled if it weren't actually true.  No wait, I'm still appalled.

My friend asked me what it was

like to live in a house full of boys

so I peed on her bathroom floor,

ate everything in her fridge, told

her 800 stories about Minecraft,

farted 20 times, and when she

was ready to kill me, I gave her a

hug and told her she was pretty.

- 4 April 2017

Revenge

"What's all the whining about?" my wife asked, as I came into the bedroom to escape the intense carping that was my son.

"Oh, his brothers were making fun of him," I said, "and now he's mad at me because I won't help him get revenge by waiting until they're asleep and writing, 'Captain Doo-doo Head' on their faces."

"I'm in!" she shouted.  "Pick me!  Pick me!"

- 5 May 2017

I’m Your MOTHER

I can just make out Beavis and Butthead chuckling in the background. 

- 4 May 2017