Super

"Mom, where are we going?" Logan asked Ashley for the seventh time since we climbed into the car.

She had told us both a dozen times and I was too busy trying to remember the reason she had given for going on this errand to be paying much attention.

Upon arrival, there was further nonspecific chattering as we disembarked and made our way across the parking lot of Super One Foods.  Logan skipped and flailed, keeping up a semi-private running commentary as he negotiated his way over all of the cracks in the pavement (no doubt, you will all recall the importance of this game as a 3-year-old).  I kept hearing him say, "Super One, Super One," as though he were singing.  The closer we got to the store, the more dejected the song became.

When we reached the entrance, he cast me a disappointed look and said,

"I wish the workers would build Super Two."

Clearly, this song needs a second verse or this album will never go platinum.

- 31 May 2012

The New BFF

"Grace and Olivia and Wyatt - they are my favorite best friends."

FBF - add that to the Periodic Table of Texting.

- 11 May 2012

Windex

As we passed the glass wall of the candy store, I heard a voice from behind.

"Oh...cannndy," Ethan sighed.

"Don't lick the glass, it's unsightly," I said, having doubled back to steer him forcibly away from the store by the shoulders.

Would you like a Handi Wipe for your tongue?

- 27 May 2012

Human Growth and Development III

The fourth and final day of Human Growth and Development class was Friday afternoon.  When school was over, I received the standard telephone call from Justin, making inquiries about various after school activity options.  We'll pick up the conversation there.

"...yes, but please be sure to leave a note for your mother," I said.

"Oh," he said, with a hint of excitement.  "...and I finally get all those Far Side jokes that you said I would understand when I was older."

"They're funnier now, aren't they?" I laughed.

"Yes!  Remember the one about the motor boating?"

There was a pause.  I looked wildly around to see if anyone else could hear the grinding in my head as I attempted to shift gears and missed the clutch.

"Um, no," I stammered.

"You know," he insisted.

I am certain that I do not.

Is it just me being old-fashioned or are these classes a lot more progressive than when I was a kid?

Justin went on to explain as I sat in stunned silence.  Oh, criminy...an outboard motor!  Okay, I'm back with you now.  One sperm had an outboard motor and he sped ahead of all the rest.  Got it!

Wow!  We just narrowly avoided a whole different kind of talk when I got home.  That's a talk we'll have when I'm older.

- 25 May 2012

Human Growth and Development II

"Was there a movie?" Ashley asked Justin, after his first day of Human Growth and Development class.

Her giddy dance and crazed expression was certainly not an indication of her delight at the opportunity to, at last, repay him a small portion of eleven years worth of provocation and torment that is a boy's duty to inflict upon his parents - rather an indication of her genuine interest in her son's education.  Um, yeah.

"Mom, you're making me really uncomfortable."

Cue the villainous hand wringing and maniacal laughter.

My turn!

-21 May 2012

The Space Needle

We had been talking about it for weeks.  At last, we finally arrived at the top of the Space Needle.  After literally looking through every telescope and view finder on the observation deck - twice, only one question remained.

"When does it blast off?"

If it does, I am going to register such a complaint!

- 26 May 2012

PG

After Ethan's confirmation and first Communion, the family went out for dinner.  While awaiting our food, Logan and Ethan dutifully colored their pictures - Ethan, with the expressed desire to have his page displayed on the wall.  When the waitress returned to the table, she spied Ethan's drawing and asked if he would like to have it hung up.  He nearly tore it in half thrusting it into her outstretched hand.  Then she turned expectantly to Justin, who only looked up because a shroud of silence had enveloped the table.  The most sheepish expression adorned his face.

"I don't think mine is appropriate for children," he said.

- 19 May 2012