What's Wrong with this Sentence?

Perhaps it's because I have boys, or perhaps it's just because I am a father but, whenever I'm out, I am constantly checking the rear-view mirror to see if the ambulance that just passed me is going to turn down my street - ever breathing a sigh of relief when it does not.  Yeah, well...

When I picked up the telephone in my office, there was a small commotion at the other end of the line and someone said, "microwave."

"Hello?" I said.

"Um, Hi!  This is Rob S. and I'm at your house...I think."

Okay, you just called my direct, private line at work, which is unpublished...only one of the numerous things that is wrong with your sentence.

"I'm from the Fire Department," he continued.

Okay, you just kicked this conversation into a whole new and frightening category.  Can you hold for a moment?  My heart just leaped into my throat and now I'm choking on it. 

"Your boys are kind of shaken up," he said.

Well, I just soiled myself, does that count?

"There was a small fire...there's a lot of smoke and we're going to blow the house out now (with a fan).  Someone should come home," he advised.

You think?

"We won't leave until someone gets here," he said.

"Thank you, sir, I'll be home momentarily," I replied and slammed down the receiver.

By the way, Mr. S., was it,  did the police show up as well?  Because their presence will certainly expedite the homicide proceedings once I get home!  Might as well save time.

Even though I knew what to expect when I turned onto my street, it was still a little shocking to behold, especially given the fact that they were outside of my house.  Two engines, and the Chief's truck.  It is possible that today was a slow day where the fire department was concerned but from my perspective, there seemed to be an overabundance of firemen on the scene for a small fire and a bag of burned popcorn.

Three boys lined up neatly along the fence...one in tears...one looking nervous...one waving and smiling like a lunatic.  People rushing all over the place.  One bag of smoldering popcorn in the driveway.

Meanwhile, the new microwave is now the ex-microwave.  There will be a lot of cleaning and everything in the house will have to be laundered.  Hmm, sounds like a regular Saturday night.

Now, boys, who's going to call your mother?

- 17 April 2012

*It should be noted that, despite the apparent babysitting FAIL that has occurred, Justin did exactly what he was supposed to do in an emergency.  I couldn't be prouder of my Boy Scout!