15 Things I Never Said Before I Had Boys

1. Let go of your penis.
2. Don't point that gun at your mother.
3. Dude, let go of your penis.
4. Where are you clothes?
5. Seriously, let go of your penis.
6. Why are there Legos in the washing machine?
7. Where are all the couch cushions?
8. Why is your brother standing on the porch mooning us?
9. Yes, Mrs. Smith, I know they're naked.
10. Why is this door sticky?
11. Where are all of the matches?
12. Minecraft is my favorite video game too.
13. Please tell me that puddle I just stepped in was a melted ice cube.
14. The next person who pees standing up gets to clean the bathroom.
15. Be careful that you don't slam your penis in the screen door!