Time to Iron Your Birthday Suit

When we started out on our walk that morning I never imagined there would wind up being the potential for a conversation about the birds and the bees.  Justin was 11 and the two of us were in the habit of getting up early, before the rest of the family, and going for walks around the neighborhood.  We had a regular route that took us on a mile long loop.  For the most part, the walk was solitary except for an occasional jogger or early morning dog walker.

This morning, however, was different.  Rounding the last corner, on the final leg of our journey, we passed a row of houses, lining a creek opposite a thicket of forest.  It was 5:30 a.m. and the sky was still completely black.  Clearly, these residents were used to seclusion and many, if not most, left the blinds open allowing passersby to have an unimpeded view of every aspect of their home lives.

There, in the window of the nearest house, was a woman walking around.  All at one we had a deer-in-the-headlights moment and both of us suddenly stopped.  She was completely and utterly, totally naked.  Granted, this was her house and she had every right to do as she pleased but this woman was not exactly a super model.  Justin's mouth dropped open and I stood there blinking as she paraded around in the living room and into the kitchen for a glass of water.

Just then, it dawned on me that we had stopped in the middle of the dark street, so I picked up Justin's jaw off the ground and we quickly moved along.

"Oh, my gosh!  How will I survive?" he exclaimed, shaking his head as we walked towards home in silent disbelief.

You?  You're still young.  Meanwhile, I will never be able to go to another block party.

- 29 March 2012