The Minion

Happy 5th birthday to my littlest minion.  Having had two other sons turn five before him, one would think that I would have remembered how the Terrible Twos don't stop just because they're not two anymore.  Their power over good and evil increases exponentially every 365 days.

Pardon my gaffe, I didn't mean to say good.

- 28 August 2013

Wipe Out

Having just hung up the telephone with my boss, I turned to consult my wipe board on the next step of my project.

"Logan!" I exclaimed.  "What have you done?  I have absolutely no idea what was on that board."

Hello!  I wrote it all on the board so that I wouldn't have to remember it.

Logan sheepishly replaced the caps on the markers.  He held my hand as we walked out of the office.

"It was just letters..." he said, trying to be helpful.  "And numbers," he added.

- 3 September 2013

Something's Missing

Just when I thought Miley Cyrus at the Video Music Awards was he most disturbing thing I'd seen this week...

- 28 August 2013

Covering Your Butt(s)

From the bedroom, I could hear the sound of a clattering crash emanating from the kitchen.  I sat, momentarily frozen, listening for the sounds of injury, immanent death or a call for clean-up on aisle five.

"Logan, what were you doing?" Ethan asked.

"I was trying to pause it so I could see their butts!" he exclaimed.

I'm still not sure how I feel about the fact that he dropped the remote while watching Teletubbies.

- 2 July 2013

Measure Twice, Cut Once

Justin asked for permission to have the last brownie.

"Yes but you have to split it with your brother," Ashley advised.

Knowing exactly how this would play out, I added my own two cents.

"Remember Justin, you get to cut the brownie, but Ethan gets to choose which piece he wants."

- 25 June 2013

Mark Your Place

"I found another sock for the dirty clothes," Ashley sighed.

Her face disclosed mingled feelings of exasperation, amusement and disgust.

"Okay," I said, going to retrieve it so I could put it in the laundry.

As I turned to leave the room with the dirty sock in hand, Ashley said,

"I think we need to get Ethan some bookmarks."

It took me a moment to put it all together.  Oh!  That's why you're sitting there holding one of his books.

I wonder if the library will issue a fine when the book comes back smelling like a foot.

- 2 April 2013

Mother's Day 2013

Who wears the pants in our family?  Let's find out...

Sitting at the kitchen table this morning, my 4-year-old's video game and my word search finished simultaneously.  As I watched him put the cartridge back in the case, I was reminded to resume an earlier conversation.

"Logan," I said.  "Remember the cartridge that you lost in our bed last night?  I found it and it's sitting on our dresser."

There was a mid-sized discussion over the confusion I had apparently caused by referring to the game card as a cartridge.  It took nearly every ounce of strength and concentration I possessed not to leap up and shake the entire bag of game cartridges in his little face.  Once that was settled, I picked up where we had left off.

"Next time you lose track of something like that (notice how I completely side-stepped making any mention of the video game components) you should tell us right away so we can help you find it," I reminded him.

He nodded.

"Why didn't you ask for help last night?" I asked.

"I didn't want to interrupt Mom and bother her while she was watching her television shows," he said, with concern.

Well, kid, I don't blame you for that.

"Sweetheart, you can always bother us," I said.  "Any time," I added.

He looked up from what he was doing and stared directly at me.

"Is Mom okay with that?"

- 12 May 2013