What's Going On?

This morning, as the boys finished ringing the church bell and mass was about to begin, there was a sense that something was amiss.  Almost immediately it became apparent that the service would be conducted without any manner of musical assistance.  Not a choir, cantor, organ, piano or guitar to be found.  Now, our parish isn't without its collective talent.  Indeed, we can be counted on to carry a tune and even stay in the same key from time to time.  But to be caught completely unawares...well, at the very least one of us could have brought a kazoo.

The beginning was highly awkward to say the least.  Slowly we settled into the idea that nobody had so much as a slide whistle.  As mass proceeded it became evident that any kind of musical rescue being mounted on our behalf would certainly not reach us in time.  Those who would be carrying the tunes this morning and those who would not divided in silence and faithfully continued.

Throughout the first half of mass the boys were uncharacteristically quiet.  For the second time this week I could tell that something was on the horizon and I was nervous about how that something would manifest itself upon arrival.  I didn't have to wait long.

Shortly after communion had started the priest began singing Hail Holy Queen Enthroned Above.  I am still not sure if it was the pomp and circumstance of the sacramental proceedings or the haze of the communion wine but the aforementioned division of singers and non-singers was suddenly abandoned.  All at once a smattering of parishioners attempted, in vain, to follow the priest's lead.  Were their mouths still full?  Had the wine fallen into empty stomachs?  From beside me came a loud whisper.

"Dad, what's going on?"

"With what?"

"The singing."

Uh oh. 

"What do you mean?"

"Why are they sad?"

"I don't think anyone is sad (yet)."

"They sound like someone just died."

"Keep your voice down and bow your head please." 

I'm going to do the same thing and try not to laugh out loud.

That's when it dawned on me that I had heard this before.  Not just the song itself but the exact way it was being sung.  Anyone familiar with the movie Sister Act?  Apparently my wife had had the exact same thought.  We exchanged a look that said, "please God, send Whoopi Goldberg to deliver us from the rest of this song."

I am certain that this post will warrant an extra Hail Mary.

- 18 September 2011