Corporeal Connection

Saturday morning - 8 AM

"Dad!" Logan came sobbing into the room.

"What is it now?" I asked, through a mouth full of toothpaste.

"Justin just kicked my butt."

Years ago, when I was a newish father and only had two boys, I would have had a tendency to overreact.  Now, however, 22 parenting years told me that there was more to this story.

A little investigative questioning revealed what I already suspected.  No butts were actually kicked in the making of this pseudo action adventure.  Justin had been asked to help correct Logan's pants which were half-way inside out.  Logan, being the typical younger brother, was reluctant to accept assistance from his older brother.  And by reluctant, I mean outright refusal.  I believe it went something like this.

"Logan!  Give me your pants!" Justin shouted.  He was already mad because he had been asked to stop what he was doing (which amounted to exactly nothing) and help.

"NO!"

"Logan, give them to me now!" Justin hollered.

"Don't touch my pants!" Logan shrieked.

"I'm gonna kick you butt!" Justin shouted.

As Logan ran away, waving the pants over his head, Justin literally took a swing with his foot at the departing backside of his youngest brother and, having failed to connect with anything corporeal, fell over.  That, apparently, constituted a butt-kicking in Logan's book.

From where I sit, it seems as though Justin just kicked his own butt.  Just sayin'...

It's going to be a long morning.

- 10 March 2012