There Are Days

When I came home from my business trip, Ashley picked me up from the airport.  Before she dropped me off at home and returned to work, we came up with a plan for the rest of the afternoon.  I was to pick the boys up from school.  Her advice was to either show up early (a mere 20 minutes from then) or arrive later to avoid the crowds of parents and to be able to find a parking spot.  It was decided that I would arrive at three o'clock, 20 minutes after the final bell.

On the dot of 2:40, just as planned, Justin called me from school to find out what to do.  I told him that I would be coming to collect his brother and him at three and they were to meet me out in front of the school.

"Which front?" he asked.

What?

"The front," I replied. "How many fronts are there?" I wondered aloud.

"Well, I just wasn't sure which one you meant." he explained.

Again I ask, how many fronts are there?

"The front," I repeated more forcefully.

You know, the one that isn't the back.

"Out by the bell," I added, hoping that this additional reference would solve the mystery.

"The bell?" he asked.  "What bell?"

Oh for Pete's sake.  May I please speak to someone else - anyone else - who goes to school there?

"Oh, the bell," he said.

Yes, the bell.

"I was confused," he continued.

You don't say.

"The other bell was ringing," he explained.

In the background I could, in fact, hear a bell ringing. Although, I'm still not convinced that it wasn't one of the bells inside his head.

"Alright, I'll see you at three," I said with exasperated finality and hung up.

Not five minutes had passed, during which I had attempted to put the newly arrived licence plates on the truck so that I could legally drive to school and pick them up.  The temporary license had expired two days earlier and I was not keen on being pulled over for expired anything, again...but that's a story for another day.  The telephone rang.  I put my tools down and took shelter from the rain as I answered.

"Dad?"

"What is it Justin?"

"Mom wants to know why you're waiting until three o'clock to come and get us."

Is this a prank?

"Because she told me to!" I shouted.

The next thing I knew, Ashley was on the phone.  I drew breath and prepared to outline my frustration with this ridiculous line of conversation.

"You're going to have to switch cars with me because of Logan," she announced.

Holy topic changes, Batman!

"No," I insisted.  "I've got it all worked out.  There's a plan," I said, hoping that the special emphasis on the last word would remind her of the very strategy that she and I had formulated less than half an hour ago.

"Oh, okay, here's Justin" she said with polite interest, passing the receiver.

"Dad?"

Good grief, why don't you put Ethan on the phone too, I haven't talked to him yet.

"Hello, Justin."

He could sense my mounting frustration.

"I have another question."

Oh, thank God.  I was worried that we were finished.

"Justin, every time you call, I have to stop what I'm doing, put down my tools and come in out of the rain to answer the phone."

"I think I'll wait and ask you later," he said, attempting to back slowly out of the conversation.

"I think that's a good idea."

I wonder how you all feel about walking home in the rain?  You see, I won't be using a motor vehicle today because I'm never going to get these plates on the truck.  And did you really just call me because your mother wants to know why I'm following her instructions?  None of my friends will believe this.  All of their wives call to find out why they're not following instructions.

- 9 February 2012